I am commitment-phobic, I will be the first to admit it. No, I haven’t left someone at the altar or anything like that, there are times I just can’t seem to commit to something and stick to it long-term.
I used to think it was laziness, or an inability to form habits and now I think it’s just… commitment. I don’t like adopting one thing over another because eventually it becomes mundane and I don’t like it anymore. Then when I want something else I have the same problem of not being able to stick to it.
That’s why I always kind of got a kick out of fad diets. (Watching other people do them, not doing them myself. Far too much commitment, hence the… yeah, you get it.) I see all of these people buying outrageously priced books, going on grapefruit diets, and the like and I wonder why it is that they can stick to something like that but can’t stick to eating healthy, balanced meals every day. I wish I had a third of the ability those people have to stay on a fad diet for a year before it fails. I guess it takes realizing that all that time spent starving yourself, living on chicken broth, or depriving your brain of fat, carbs, and sugar involves just as much hard work and effort (often more) than just filling your plate full of good, wholesome food. What’s this? Eating well is actually kind of easy? I wouldn’t lie to you, it’s as easy as not buying jars of salsa flavoured artificial cheese.
Here’s something I can get behind: when I get hungry I eat. Through a bit of education I am now knowledgeable on what I should eat and what is probably not the best choice but it’s not so that I can tell myself no; it’s so that I can make an informed decision. When I eat a cupcake I know what I’m eating, and I’m not fooling myself into thinking it’s something that it’s not. (Unless it’s purchased on a rack in a gas station with an expiry date a year in the future then maybe it’s something that it’s not). I also know that if I gorge on delicious snacks, which is bound to happen from time to time (or most of December), that I am the only person responsible for that and the only one that can fix it. I don’t beat myself up about it, I just fix the problem by making the treats go away. I haven’t let anyone down, I didn’t fall off a wagon or deviate from a plan of any kind, so I have no reason to be disappointed. I just move on. Isn’t that easier?
As for my commitment problem, I’ve learned that I have to be left to my own devices and that’s just the way it is. I’m okay to write things down in a food journal, granted I’m likely to miss a few days but don’t ask me to count points on an app, or adhere to a structured 17-day/6-week/48-hour meal plan. I don’t like to fail so I’d sooner not set myself up for failure. I can’t even commit to reading a book long enough to get to the end and find the meal plan no matter how interesting I find it. (Read, read, read… OOH SHINY!)
So I guess while most people made their New Years resolutions in the ‘fad diet’ category mine is more about commitment education. I want to learn more about how people form habits. I’ve heard plenty of times before that if you do something for three weeks straight then it becomes a habit but I’ve done things for three weeks and walked away from them before. I’m going to start looking for stats on committing, forming habits, and what it tips for how to stick to those habits. Perhaps a guest blogger will be able to contribute to the conversation!
Also, in 2012 I’m going to finish a book. I swear it. I’m gonna read one. You’ll see. 😛