The one where reality bites…

I haven’t blogged much lately, sorry about that. I’ve been working pretty hard though, spending a lot of time training, posing, eating and training some more. I’ve been struggling with a cold the last week-and-a-half but despite that I have been having some amazing workouts and really felt as though I was starting to see significant differences in my physique.

It’s hard to look at yourself and remember how you got to where you are. A lot of my focus has been on where I need to be and I forgot about the places I had to go to get here. I took the opportunity to remind myself of just how hard I’ve worked and how far I’ve come the other day when I put these photos side-by-side:

Progress

I’ve worked really hard to get from the picture on the left to the picture on the right and when I was putting that little collage together I thought wow, I can do this, nothing is going to stand in my way. Life has a funny way of throwing you curve balls when you least expect them, though.

I went to work on Wednesday and found out I no longer have a job due to restructuring. At first I thought it’s fine, I’ll just have a bunch of free time to spend at the gym, I’m going to be in awesome shape for my show in just six short weeks. Then the harsh reality set in and I realized that despite my free time, I am now without an income. Fitness is an expensive hobby and competing is not a small investment. I have been saving money for a year just for this show and I had a little bit put away to pay for things like my bikini, evening gown, registration fees, posing classes, hair/makeup, etc but that money now needs to go to things like food, rent, bills and getting my life back on track.

I made a tough decision yesterday that I won’t be stepping on stage next month. My priorities have to change. It doesn’t mean I never will. Heck, who knows, maybe I’ll be in a better position to do a show later this year – anything could happen. I’m still going to be at the WBFF Atlantic Championships on May 25th, cheering on every single beautiful lady from my Fit Starts Here team who I am happy to call my friends and fitfam. I can’t wait to watch you all compete. Look out though, next year I’ll be coming for ya… 😛

I need to thank all the people who have supported me up until this point. Please don’t stop because I’m probably going to need you now more than ever. I’m going to use this time as I reorganize my world to keep eating clean, keep training and come out of this a better me than I was when I went into it. I guess I just wasn’t ready to stop calling myself Fatty quite yet… <3

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